I saw an AI depiction of anxiety today that looked a bit like a demonic version of Anxiety from Inside Out. It was striking because it captured something I’ve noticed time and again in my work with people dealing with anxiety—and in my own journey as an anxious person: anxiety robs us of opportunity when it flares up.
Fear is so primal and powerful. It’s helped us survive as humans for eons, hardwired into our brain’s functioning to keep us safe from danger. Fear serves a good and noble purpose. But sometimes, it malfunctions. Survival in 2024 looks a lot different than it did in caveperson times. And yet, anxiety keeps hanging out. An annual survey conducted by psychiatry.org showed that adults in the U.S. who were surveyed said their anxiety increased since last year. That percentage has increased each year since 2022.
Leaning into anxiety might sound like one of the worst pieces of advice a therapist could give, right? Funny enough, though, it can be one of the most effective ways to reduce its grip, especially if your mind tends to jump to worst-case scenarios. Anxiety makes us want to avoid the things that trigger that discomfort, giving us a sense of short-term relief. But long-term, avoidance only makes anxiety stronger. When we avoid, we miss out on the chance to see that many of our “what ifs” or catastrophic thoughts don’t come true. We operate as though our assumptions are facts without ever testing them.
You might be thinking, “Okay, but I’ve challenged my anxiety, and I still felt uncomfortable— or the worst-case scenario did happen.” Yup. Sometimes that’s the case. Even fortune tellers hit the mark every now and then. But the goal of treatment is never to eliminate anxiety completely. Instead, it’s about getting anxiety to a manageable level and building the tools to cope when it does show up.
One of my favorite tools is playing my own cheerleader by using small mantras. Some of my go-tos are:
- “Be afraid and do it anyway.”
- “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
- “What if things go right?”
What do you use to cheer yourself on? What helps you push through when anxiety’s voice gets loud?